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Google – the people who brought you the Pet Rock – have just purchased Motorola Mobility for $12.5 billion. In CASH.

Google now has the ability to rival its chief competitor, Apple, which produces both the iphone and its operating system.

Market analysts suspect this is an attempt to secure patent protection for some key aspects of their Android platform.

Of course, that is ridiculous. It is clearly the first step in our friendly overlords’ plan to control us through microchips inside our brains. Which is by my math no more than 2-3 years away.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

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